however, if i don't take this time to type this, then i never will, so i must while i am thinking about it. this is an article that a very dear friend of mine sent me and a few others last week.
i thought it was definitely interesting and worth sharing ... it touches on some big issues among
the whole dating vs. friends thing in today's current christian culture, if you will.
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001845.cfm
i would love to know your thoughts, so please share.
3 comments:
the link in case that did not work:
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001845.cfm
What I have never understood is how people don't mind leading others on! There is no shame in being upfront and honest. I saw girls too many times hang out with guys, get into deep conversations with guys, let the guy come visit them out of town for the weekend, etc, while knowing good and well that the guy was head over heels and that the girl was 'just maybe casually interested'.
I've seen it work the other way, where the girl is the one drooling and hoping- and the guy is playing it cool. Either way, it bugs the crap out of me!
There is nothing cool or admirable about filling out the stereotype of being a player, heartbreaker, easy, or any of that crap. I hate the stereotype and I hate watching people fill it out.
I, for one, would purposely state to a fella "I'm cool with dating and going out for fun, but I'm not looking for a boyfriend". And I DON'T mean state it 3 months in, I mean like 3 days in. Not saying I'm perfect, just saying- being up front CAN be done. And it's appreciated.
I think that if a peson is lonely- if they are the one that is leading the other person on- many times they just don't care. They would rather quench their loneliness and desire for attention than be upfront with someone and let them know that they aren't wanting to date or be serious.
Additionally, with all of the text messages and online messaging these days...it's SO easy to be overly flirtatious 'behind the screen'. Then once you're confronted with your behavior, it can easily be written off as a 'misinterpretation' of the written words exchanged via text or whatever.
It's so obnoxious.
this is why i like when "harry met sally." (if you haven't seen it you should watch it tonight). i've learned that it's pretty much impossible to have a "friend girl" who you are somewhat invested in...it always ends up getting messy. So, consequently, it seems that i have been "that guy" before. bad thought, but it mostly came from my wanting to have a girl to hang out with who was cool and could talk to but there was no weirdness around. doesn't really happen. but i did learn my lesson back in high school and feel i'm doing ok in my conscious effort to not facilitate these sorts of situations.
but yeah, either way, it's a sucky situation to be in.
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