my thoughts penned for me.

well, i was already thinking about blogging today. i decided i was going to after i got off the phone with my friend who perfectly articulated part of the stage that i am in right now. i am not sure that i remember well enough what she said - but it was perfect, if i could have put words to my emotions, i would have said what she did.

i was telling her how it is hard because i was supposed to go to a friends for dinner tonight but had to pass up the invite in order to stay at home and do laundry and catch up on emails, start a paper, and do things that i cant do during the day since i am working - but are required for days to go by smoothly. 

she said, "its funny because when you first got there you were just getting in the swing of things so you wanted to be by yourself and have some downtime to get settled. then you wanted to be hanging out with people all the time so you wouldnt be lonely, but somehow even that makes you so busy that you are almost more tired, and because you dont know them very well, you are STILL lonely."  sooooo true. i am not very good at this post college making friends thing - and then when you do find people you like and connect with you dont want to appear like an overexerted freak - and i often do, so i guess im trying to play it cool - but i have never been good at that. oh well. who cares. 

my next subject was on my whole career dilemma, but relevant summed it up for me quite nicely today, so i will just put the link right here:

http://relevantmagazine.com/life_article.php?id=7578

(biscuet, why cant i ever get blogger to let me paste a link?!)

 luckily, i have a great friend here who called me today to see if i would be up for going to the lake tomorrow after work and i cant think of a better thing to do to wind down the day. so, im headed to pack my swimsuit, then im going to bed, then work, then the lake ... i really do love this place.