REFURBISHED.

One Thing

2011-01-25T15:58:00.000-08:00

The Lord really blessed me in 2010, in many ways, but it is so neat to see how He placed some new people and friendships in my life that have really spurred me on, challenged me, and caused me to live and grow - pushing me to know more of myself, and more importantly, to know the heart and love of Christ. (Bet you can't beat THAT run on sentence!)

One of those people is Gigi. I actually met her early in 2009. We were on the same team of people from Fellowship, preparing to go to Peru in September of that year. I ended up getting really sick on that trip and it was miserable. Sweet Gigi took care of me (she is a Family Nurse Practitioner) ... and that was the beginning of our friendship.

Over the next year we would occasionally meet for lunch or coffee and I found that Gigi's passion for the Lord and love of life were extremely contagious. I was so blessed by her wisdom and counsel, attracted to her humility, and encouraged by her desire to learn. One day after lunch Gigi was taking me to my car and she shared more of her incredible story with me. It clicked - there was a natural connection. It was not deliberate or intentional. And now? Discipleship.

I wish you could know her for yourself.

I have learned that Gigi is warm, kind, committed, and intentional. She is hard working, honest, real, and vulnerable. Selfless, funny, a wonderful model of a wife and mother. Dare I forget that she is incredibly creative and a top notch writer. And let me just tell you - she WILL ask you the hard questions. You understand? I am so grateful the Lord placed her in my life.

Earlier this (new) year Gigi tweeted -

@gigimcmurray:

Happy New Year! This is my one wish for 2011. The first page of my new journal. One Thing http://twitpic.com/3lsp6h

... I freaked out over the "One Thing" ...
I obviously love the verse. I adored the nest she drew.
And I am a huge fan of her handwriting!
I told her that that (Ps. 27:4) is what I want out of this year as well, so desperately. I asked her if she would make that for me sometime - I wanted a copy/reminder to keep for myself.

Today, I met Gigi for an impromptu lunch,

and look what she brought me ...

I have it framed and ready to hang on my wall in the place I have already designated in my office. After my walls are repainted, of course. Thanks, Geeg! You should know this is one of the most treasured of any gift I have ever received! Honest! Thank you for sharing your life with me and for pointing me to Christ. Your sacrifice is great and your impact eternal.

Today ...

2010-09-07T11:13:00.001-07:00

Is likely one of my favorite days of 2010.

There is no overestimating her work.

In my very humble opinion.

If only I could drive Hwy 1

all day long

in a convertible mini cooper

blaring this album.

But alas, I am at the office,

and I will crank it anyway.

Sing it, Sara.

Overwhelm-ed.

2010-07-29T11:18:00.000-07:00

"I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed,
but can you ever just be whelmed?"

Today, I would like to be whelmed -
but that is not the case with the given state of my Google Reader.

"... I think you can in Europe."

Maybe I should 'go to there.'

Yikes.

31 things, the best things.

2010-06-18T15:00:00.000-07:00

I am really blessed to have some of the best friends in the whole world. I am really proud of them. I am sure you know. If you have hung around me for any period of time you know that my college friends are life friends - top notch friends, and I speak of them often. Oh the stories we could tell. My life has been marked by journeying through recent years with these precious girls and I am humbled to have them in my life and look forward to the days ahead.

Heather is a kindred spirit, my best friend. I often wonder how many people are blessed to experience rich friendship like this. We have many memories that I am grateful for: like driving to Destin at the drop of a hat to pick up the Larrivee that was given to me, my sophomore year of college. Going to the Sarah McLachlan concert for my birthday one year, singing paperboy in the car, and endless trips to Dairy Queen that Heather required us to take so she could get a blizzard. These are just a few of the good times, but when I recall many of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows in my life, there are several that Heather has been around for. The day I found out my parents were getting a divorce, Heather took me (and my destructive personality) to the batting cage. She just sat there with me until I was done hitting.

Henri Nouwen says, “The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares.” That is the kind of friend that Heather has been to me, but she is even more. A mentor, accountability, someone that gets my craziness and laughs at me when I make NO sense. Whats more is she calls me to a higher standard. She is the one friend that I can always count on to call out sin in my life, and I appreciate this about her. I love that she esteems my relationship with the Lord more than even I do at times and she is always looking to point me to Christ and His word - and yet, she has more grace than you would ever know. Times of temptation, hurt, anger, defeat, despair - I can call her, and find a loving friend.

I had the privilege of standing by Heather as MOH on her wedding day, and being at the hospital when she and Clay welcomed their two beautiful children into the world.

(I always say that if I can love my own kids a fraction of how
much I love my friends kids I will be in good shape.)

Heather is a few years older than me, and so I learn a lot from her as she is very candid with me about each of life's stages, and as I see her handle challenges, joys, fears, and dreams - I am encouraged, and I grow.

I will never forget this one day. Clayton was just a baby but Heather began to pray for him, consistently. She made this card that listed 31 character traits that she desired her son to have, and each day of the month she prays, even still, that the Lord would instill these things in him. She made one for me, so I can pray too - and I keep it in my pocket Bible - and although I'm not as faithful as she is, I pray for Clayton. And I pray for myself, that I, by the grace of God, would possess these traits as well. That I would be molded more into the image of Christ with each passing day. I pray these things for my husband, my brother, my cousins, and friends.
I guarantee that you will be convicted when you read through this list. I am, every time. Thanks for the example, Hal. Thank you for sharing your life with mine, and thanks for teaching me how to be a Godly friend, wife, mother, and lover of Christ.

"Real Men Say They're Sorry."

2010-05-31T21:15:00.000-07:00

Wow. Why am I even surprised? Is there a need to go into how I can't believe how long it has been since I have blogged? Do you even know me? This is what I do but, I need to blog again. So, here is a first attempt. I guess that's it - I wait so long to return that it suddenly feels new again. There might be something to that. Anyways, I digress.

I seem to be learning a lot lately. The longer I live life, the more I find I am really blessed. It seems that with each stage of life, the Lord never lets me down. If only I could always remember that.

Lately, the Lord is really using my co-workers to teach me a whole bunch. Big life lessons here, kids. I am fortunate to be surrounded by an amazing team at work who are my friends - and even better - like family. I affectionately refer to them as, my teamily. We care deeply for each other - and I can talk bad about them all day long - but if you try to cross them, you are going down. They have my back in the same kind of way. And because of the precious friendship the Lord has given us, He is using them to teach me, challenge me, and change me.

Here is a little example: Last week we met off campus one morning for a series of meetings. Somehow I was already in a funk because in a high maintenance moment, I didn't think the guys hustled quickly enough to help me lug a few things from my car (ridiculous, really) - they refer to this as me "tanking." I tried to shake it and decided just to keep to myself so no one would find me in a bad mood.

Moments later we ended up in a conversation during one of our meetings that left my very relational side hurting for some people. We all begin to discuss, and before long, my Boss, Rob, had officially hurt my feelings, misunderstood what I was trying to say, and dismissed my point. By no means was this intentional. I am learning this is real life. We were having a conversation, all sharing our thoughts, opinions, and (God forbid) our feelings. Tears welled up in my eyes and none of us had any clue where this had come from-they all grew silent. I am the one that does not cry, and so when I do, they take it pretty seriously. Rob tried to talk it through with me and after no avail he said we would discuss it later.

Great. Conflict Resolution. ANOTHER lesson. Ugh.

I masterfully compartmentalized for the rest of the day, as I seem to usually do and we had a blast - but that was not the end of it and I should have known. The next day Rob called me into his office to talk about what happened (talking through conflict in a healthy way was something that was pretty foreign to me before Fellowship). I didn't want to have another hard conversation or try to figure out what was really going on in me to illicit such a response the day before.

However, I walked in to a room where I was greeted with humility and kindness. Rob, after a few statements, said, "Erin, I am so sorry." He began to explain to me how he realized he took his "black and white" approach to life and nailed it to this situation our team had been discussing - and to me, there was a grey area. When we couldn't agree, I felt misunderstood, and things went crashing in a downward spiral. I realized ... he didn't apologize because he did something wrong, he apologized because he cared and that was huge for me to see. It was because he had offended me, hurt me - not that he had broken a rule of some sort. I realized that this was intensely healing for me - I didn't grow up like that. Humility and apologies were not something I encountered as a child - especially not like this, and definitely not from a man.

Days later, Kayla and I were at Rob and Kirsten's for dinner when Ben, their youngest, and Sarah, the middle child, got into a fight. All I remember was walking down the hallway when I overheard a conversation between Ben and Rob.

Rob sat Ben down and said:

"Ben, I will tell you one of the things my Dad always told me."

"What, Dad?"

"Real Men Say They're Sorry."

I hope Ben learns what a difference it makes.

The world could use some more real men.

I am beyond blessed to get to work with a few of them.

Thanks for the lesson, thanks for caring, and thanks for teaching me too,

Boss.

*Robs Dad passed away years ago. We all know how much Rob loved his Dad. What I love is seeing a man that lived so well, and loved so much,
that his life affected people who never had the chance to meet him.

today i miss ...

2010-02-25T16:27:00.000-08:00

So, my friend, Kelley, posted this about missing her friends, and of course... what did it do?

made me miss mine

SO

since she asked ... I'm showing who it is that i miss

please meet or reacquaint yourself with the people in my life who make me better

maybe one day someone will teach me how to format pictures.
until then ... deal with this.

pick me up

2010-02-24T12:41:00.000-08:00

I keep saying that I will stop drinking, again.

But, when 2:43pm comes everyday, its really hard to stop.

Sorry, Mom.

How Cute Is He?

2010-02-14T20:03:00.000-08:00

Smacking and All. Best Valentine's Day Ever.

Hypothermia

2010-01-08T14:16:00.000-08:00

Today?

Today I fell into a lake.

T'was COLD.

the great snow debacle

2010-01-07T09:40:00.000-08:00

So,

this is all we have to show for a "snow day?"

really, Nashville?

Really?

watch your step, everybody.

The End of the Firsts

2009-11-03T09:35:00.000-08:00

I really cant believe it has been a year.

I was overwhelmed to the point of tears today thinking of how special our time was in Dallas last year as 13 of my very best friends from college gathered to celebrate the life of Sweet Hopkins. After the day of the service, and a feast of food and friends - we told stories and laughed and cried and then ... we played cards. It was an unforgettable scene.

I have recently read Donald Miller's new book and it has rocked me. There is part where Miller speaks of a dear friend dying and he describes the scene of being at the friends house, late - the night of the funeral.

He says,

"Later, at around two in the morning, when there were only a few dozen people left at their house, I looked across the deck at Steve and Ben sitting and talking to Jim (whose wife had passed away), and as they laughed and drank their wine, I wondered how much it costs to be rich in friends and how many years and stories and scenes it takes to make a rich life happen. You cant build an end scene as beautiful by sitting on a couch, I thought to myself. And I also knew that while this group had experienced devastating loss, the ones who remained were richer still because of her passing, as thought Janice left an emotional inheritance of stories that would continue to be told, stories that would be passed down to her children, and theirs.

I looked across the deck at Steve sitting and talking to Jim, and as they laughed and drank their wine, I wondered about the story we were writing and wanted even more to write a better story for myself, something that leaves a beautiful feeling even as the credits roll."

I hope that through the years we continue to fight our schedules, distractions, and comfort to commit to one another the time needed for the scenes and the stories that we must have in order to be rich in friendship. I am so very thankful for how far we have come - for the stories I can tell and the scenes I can see. I am thankful for a person like Sweet who was in our lives, and showed us what it is like to be a masterful scene maker.

The picture above is what we sent Ivy today to remind her of our love and support and care.

We also sent her a letter, here is part of it for you to read.

"Ivy, we thank God for the woman you are in each of our lives. Together as we look back over the the events of a year ago in remembrance and forward towards the future with hope, we pray that the One who gives us His light burden and easy yoke will hold you tightly in His arms. We trust that He will continue to shape you, grow you, and mold you into the incredible woman that He has created you to be.

We love you so much, Ivy. We are praying with you and for you. We rejoice in the Lord for the works He has done in and through you in the past year.

Grace and Peace,

13 Auburn Friends"

*to read Ivy's post about her mom, click here:

http://theladyinthestreet.blogspot.com/2009/10/365.html

Family

2009-10-23T06:07:00.000-07:00

Still no clever title, and no real reason for this post, other than the fact that I have these cute pictures of my best friend and her family and I want to introduce you to them.

I am so grateful to have Heather, Clay, Clayton, and Turner in my life. These kids bring so much

joy to me and many good times. I miss them bunches, but try to get back and visit

often. Crazy how fast they grow.

Clayton is already an avid iPhone and Auburn

fan, before long he will be drinking boutique beer is he hangs out with his Dad long enough.

Thanks Conner

Family for blessing my life!

I am so thankful for each of you!

Oktoberfest & Friends

2009-10-22T07:36:00.000-07:00

I give up. I wont even try. Im just NOT a clever blog title maker.

How do you people come up with such creative titles? I dont get it. Ill just be plain jane -

its okay.

I had to dedicate this blog to the wonderful Oktoberfest in Nashville a few weekends ago,

and visits from great friends! Sarah and Kortnie came in town for an

audition

Kortnie had, and also for a visit with me! It was sooo good to see them. For those of you who dont remember or did not know, Kortnie is my friend who battled colon cancer this past year - she is now free and clear! Praise the Lord! We went to Virago forSushi and tried to talk Kortnie and Kayla into Karaoke, but it didnt work - maybe next time. Oh, and yes, we

made Kayla wear those glasses allll night.

The day after Sa and Kortnie left, John and Lana came in town to hang out with Katlin and me. It was such a good weekend to have friends in town. We hit up Oktoberfest, Next Big Nashville Music Festival, Peter's (more sushi) and even the Pancake Pantry - fat kids! Of course, somewhere in there I drug Lana to the DMV with me to get my Tennessee license. She decided after that excursion that she wants to work there if she ever moves to Nashville. Hilarious.

Recent Fall Fun

2009-10-22T07:13:00.000-07:00

So, I know I have slacked on the blog lately. I have been too busy living life to tell stories about it. Don Miller would be so proud of me right now. I am reading his new book, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" - and it is rocking me. He talks about the whole concept of 'story' and characters in the story and how they chose to live their life. Its simple, but profound. I cant do it justice. Go see for yourself how much it will challenge you. Its perfect for where I am right now.

Though I have been MIA lately, I didnt want to

skip over some of the fun I have had. Several weeks ago, after recouping from Peru on the couch, I was able to go with Kirsten to shop for

her 20th year High School

Reunion at Lake Highland, in Dallas.

She is like me, and HATES to shop.

We had a blast. Oh, and she had a great time at the reunion. Chris Harrison (Bachelor Host) said she looks just like his wife. Hmm.

Two weeks ago, Worship and Arts had our annual Staff Retreat.

This was the first one

I have been on and it was a blast. I am so thankful for the people I work with, and that we are friends - not just co-workers. We fished, canoed, hiked, went spelunking (caving, silly), and ate lots of good food. We laughed so hard and it was great.

Last Sunday was a blast! Sante Fe Soup, Sarah's Soccer Game, Titans Game, Chili, and

homemade cookies with friends. I wrapped up the day with a great night

with my Community Group, meeting John and Molly's new puppy,

Murphy - and then going to see Where the Wild Things Are with great friends. I love days like that, spent with people I love, doing things I love.

I love Nashville in the Fall. It is my favorite. The leaves are really starting to change around

here, and it has been sooo much fun to wake up to all the pretty colors everyday.

Where the Heart Is

2009-10-05T20:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it is hard for me to go to Birmingham and face the changes of life, but that is life. I don't really adjust to change as well as I would like to think I do. Im kind of sour about it. I am thankful though, that even in the changes, relocations, and all the surprises life brings ... home is still where the heart is.

This weekend home to me, life to me, was:

Watching Clayton run to the door when I arrived with all smiles yelling, "Enin!!!!"

Seeing my brother play college football and welling up with pride for him.

Talking with friends about life through glassy eyes and the next minute laughing until it hurt.

Visiting with my Grandparents about my trip to Peru and telling them how it changed me.

Going to lunch with my Aunt and talking about the future, the joys & pains life brings.

Hugging a friend really tight that I know has been hurting.

Driving familiar roads late at night with my best friend, just like old times.

Holding 10 week old Turner as she slept, in peace.

I am thankful for the good things in the midst of the hard things.

I am thankful for change that never allows me to stay the same.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for He has said,

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” - Heb 13:5

But I am thankful that HE never, ever, ever changes.

Home is there. Home lies in Him.

The End of Peru

2009-10-02T18:23:00.000-07:00

I cant believe it has been so long since my last post. To all of my supporters, forgive me. I know I left you hanging. My sickness only worsened the last few days of our trip and it became increasingly more hard for me to blog. I did, however, make it through the week. Gigi McMurray, who was on our team, used to be a nurse, and were it not for her sweet nurturing spirit and all of her knowledge, I would not have made it through the week. The Lord was faithful to not give me more than I could bear. The kids did an amazing job with the worship service on Thursday night, and there were more than 40 people that wanted to know more about Jesus. It was very humbling. I felt like a proud mom as I stood by the stage and watched my drama kids recite their scripture and parts from the week. I was blown away at how well they did after being to challenged with their behavior all week. The Lord showed up and we were encouraged.

Below you will see the art project that the kids did. Gigi had them write on

sheets of paper words in Spanish that they use to describe God. We compiled the papers and put them in this collage to display Thursday night. It was so powerful to see their view of the Lord.

Friday we went to the orphanage. It was unreal to see these kids working for their food, learning music, and sewing and carpentry - even baking! Again, I was faced with wrestling with the reality of me being born in America, and these children being orphans in Peru. I could not reconcile it in my heart or mind.

I am just grateful to the Lord for the blessings He has lavished on me that I don't deserve. I could not help but think how real the verses in the Gospels about the ravens must be

to these children. They must trust that they are more valuable than the birds and that the Lord will certainly take care of them. We sang with the kids for a while and then left to head into Lima to eat at a restaurant in the city and go to the market.

I was pretty sad because we went to this restaurant called Mango's that I have heard about for so long. Everyone that has gone to Peru with Fellowship comes back raving about this place. Turns out I was really sick that day and this was all I could eat for lunch. Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

It was so hard to say goodbye to all my new friends in Peru. I miss them already. Those people taught me so much about community, commitment, service, love, and giving your life away. It remains true that I needed Peru more than Peru needed me. This trip left a mark on me that I will never forget. I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to go and serve and love on this people, but also to learn from them. Thanks so much to all of you who made that possible. I cannot thank you enough. Below is a picture of me Pastor Juan Carlos, the worship pastor at the church in Comas, and his children JJ, Natalie, and Jonathan.

I am so encouraged by all the Lord is doing in Comas and Lima, and I am so thankful to be a part of His greater story there. I am so grateful for the ways I am different, I am humbled by the things I learned, and changed because of all I saw. To Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

*sick update: I went to the Doctor last Monday. He gave me medicine and said it seemed I was hit pretty hard with a series of things while away. His main concern was a parasite or amoeba. After blood work and testing, I am glad to report that he called me today to say that I do NOT have a parasite. It seems as though I actually will have to join the Y to lose weight. Bummer. Just Kidding. I am glad to be recovering, I assure you. Thank you so much for your prayers and concern.

Some things that hit hard...

2009-09-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a great day of rehearsal and break outs for the kids. I love my class and how social they are, even if it is difficult to teach. It has been somewhat frustrating to not feel well because my personality is to not miss out on anything. So I want to keep going, even when I need to rest and settle down-and that is hard. The Lord was good though, and I made it through the day and night last night. I loaded up with TamiFlu, IBU, and a sleeping pill and hit the hay. Everyone is shocked at the medicine I can ingest, but that is what happens when you grew up with a parent that was a pharmacist!

I had to take this time at lunch to blog and tell you of two things that have really hit me hard since yesterday. Ellen and I helped the Chef was dishes after lunch yesterday, and he was so grateful. We talked about his family and how his daughter needs clothes. When we asked him what kind, he emphasized her need for t-shirts. How convicted I felt about my tupperware container of t-shirts under my bed. (I know Anna will really tell me to get rid of them now.)

A few moments later, David walked by to tell the Chef what a great job he did

with lunch and how wonderful it was. The dialogue went something like this:

David: Muchos Gracias! That was muy delicioso!

Chef: Ahhh, Gracias, really?! Well, I find your worthy of such food.

David: No, no, we are not.

Chef: Well, you are not, but you are in Christ, and because of Him you certainly are!

I have been so broken this week as I compare the difference of dependence upon the Lord between Americans and Peruvians. The more I hear them pray, engage in conversations, and see how selflessly they

serve - the more I am faced with the fact that they understand and live out the Gospel in a way that I do not. Several members of our team wear the Mocha Club Shirt that says, "I need Africa more than Africa needs me." That phrase has become my motto for Peru.

I NEED PERU MORE THAN PERU NEEDS ME.

When we arrived to the Guzman's, where we are staying, around 9:00 last night, we were greated by a stranger telling us to come in quietly. When we walked in, I was in

complete shock at the sight I saw. We entered a room of about 20 men on their faces crying out to God. I dont think I have ever seen such fervent prayer. As we got ready for bed we noticed the men stayed on their knees. We dont know how long they had been praying before we arrived, but it carried on for at least 2+ hours. As I drifted to sleep, I was encompassed by the sound of these men praying, then singing, then praying, then singing. Later, their wives came up to meet them and they all joined in together. I could not help but try and think of the last time I got on my face before the Lord and what it would be like to happen upon the men of Fellowship in such a prolonged posture. It moved me beyond belief.

Today is the “e-camp” worship service with the kids. We have been preparing all morning for this service tonight. Please pray for our last breakouts with the kids this afternoon, and the service tonight. Many of the children's parents are not believers. It is our desire that the Lord uses these children to lead them to Christ as they worship tonight. The service is at 7pm – so please pray during that time.

*sick update: I am making it. The ladies on our team prayed for me this morning, and since then I have felt better. I still have a fever, chills, and am weak - and I also still have some digestional issues, but the Lord is sustaining me. I am taking TamiFlu and IBU and napping when I can to keep things at bay. Your prayers are much appreciated. I want to participate and serve as much as I can, please pray the Lord would heal me.

Mid Week Low Down

2009-09-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

I just worked on a great update and lost it. Now I do not have much time, so I will have to make this quick. Our time here has really been amazing so far. I continue to be humbled and more grateful for what God has blessed me with. It seems wrong that I have so much.

Our last few days have been packed. I am about to post videos

(if possible) and photos of events from the last few days:

-beginning of camp (kids are much more rowdy than we expected, but so fun)

-feeding the children in Chillon (absolutely heart breaking)

-Peruvian Folk Band (unbelievable)

-house (pictured left) and school visits (below)

-shots from the roof of the church

Last night gave everyone a bit of a scare. I was trying to go to sleep and got up to take some medicine. The ladies insisted on taking my temperature, and found out I had a fever.

Thanks to some sleep, and many prayers, I feel much better. If you read this, please pray my fever does not return and that I stay well. Today is our 3rd day of camp and tomorrow is the "big day." Please pray for us as we continue to teach these kids about what it means to worship God, and as we join them in leading their friends and families in worship tomorrow night.

Friday morning we will go to the market, and see other parts of Peru. Saturday morning we will go to an orphanage, I am eagerly expecting this trip. It is truly amazing that the people of Comas live like they do. We are far, far too blessed.

Above: Peruvian Folk Band

Above: Oatmeal type drink we fed the Kids

Above: Children being placed on stage for camp rehearsal

For more pictures and details about what we are up to, please visit Jessica's blog:

http://e-camp-fellowship.blogspot.com/

HASTA MAÑANA!

(I hope)

Day One::Blown Away

2009-09-19T15:22:00.000-07:00

Wow. We are finally here in Comas. I had tears in my eyes when greeted at the airport last night. These people were so very excited to see us and welcome us to Peru. I was very excited to meet Angie (pictured right), a translator of ours, and a friend of many of mine. I am at a loss for what to say because I am so overwhelmed. My heart is already bursting at the seams with love for these people and this culture. I have never witnessed such extreme poverty,

and I have never been more embarrassed to have a North Face jacket. Already, I am extremely humbled, and grateful. We had breakfast at the Church this morning and then went up the hill to look out over the city.

We met many women and children that I immediately wanted to take home with me. I am afraid this trip will only increase my desire to adopt. These children were content, kind, and warm hearted. The kids in Peru hardly have anything. Funny how I suddenly could care less about the safety of my camera so long as it meant they could play with it. I met a girl named Nicole (pictured left) and told her that was my middle name, she was so excited. Pastor Enrique prayed for us on the mountain and talked to us about the importance of it in the Christian journey. Its really neat to see how close you can feel to people you have never met, because they know the Lord.

After our trek up the mountain, we came back to the church for a welcome party, amazing food, and dancing. This afternoon we have had rehearsal for the 5 worship services we will conduct for the Church tomorrow.

Please keep praying for us. We begin our day tomorrow at 6am with the first service. I will update again as soon as possible. I wish words could give enough justice to tell what all the Lord is doing in my heart, but they do not suffice . . .

bienvenidos a miami

2009-09-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

Greetings from Miami!!

Boy. It has been a looooong day. I went to bed at midnight last night and woke up at 3:20 to leave for the aiport by 3:40 this morning. Needless to say, I am exhausted. Good News: I do not require much sleep. Bad News: I have hardly gotten any this week. I am not one to sleep on various modes of transportation. So I sit and watch as others slumber. Bummer.

We are on the home stretch of our 8hr layover in Miami. I know, seems crazy, but it saved us lots of money, so we went with it. Our team enjoyed a nice, authentic Cuban lunch at La Carreta today. I ate like a boy. Shocker. It was so good though. I now know how my friend LeighAnn feels living in Miami. I could hardly order my food because I did not understand a word the lady was saying ... because she was speaking in Spanish! Am I already in Peru?! Feels like it! I have only heard Spanish all day.

After lunch we spent time preparing and reviewing songs, dances, verses, scripts, etc. I am just hoping I can sleep on our flight tonight. Lucky for us, there is no time change between Nashville and Peru - we are due to arrive in Lima around 10pm. Thank you all again for your prayers and support. I am so excited to see what the Lord does in and through us! Time to board the plane ...

shooting for the soul

2009-09-14T17:56:00.000-07:00

This past Friday I had more fun than I have had in a while.

There are many reasons for this.

I will give 3.
1. I was outside.

2. I was engaging my creative side.

3. I did not look at my phone for 3+ hours.

I helped assist and produce a photo shoot with some friends of mine in Franklin.

I learned alot, but I am still quite the amateur. Here are some of my favorite shots.

get over it.

2009-07-28T18:08:00.000-07:00

you know those days?

the ones where the glass is half empty, everything is wrong in the world, and nobody can do anything right? the one where you just want to scream at the top of your lungs?

today was that day. i would like to say its not often that i get in these moods but today? bingo.

well, awesome erin, that's just perfect.

several weeks ago i took a very thorough personality test called the enneagram. http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/
(excuse my lack of blog savvyness) ...

my roommate and i laughed at how the analysis of my personality type (6, 'the loyalist')
describes me to a T in some ways:

"...They are both strong and weak, fearful and courageous, trusting and distrusting, defenders and provokers, sweet and sour, aggressive and passive, bullies and weaklings, on the defensive and on the offensive, thinkers and doers, group people and soloists, believers and doubters, cooperative and obstructionistic, tender and mean, generous and petty—and on and on. It is the contradictory picture that is the characteristic “fingerprint” of Sixes, the fact that they are a bundle of opposites."

Now I always say, "Im sweet and sour, Sarah!" ...

well. today. i was unfortuneately VERY sour.
so much so that i missed:

-a free screener ticket to the only movie i was excited about seeing all summer
-a friends surprise birthday party
-good time with my mom
-a meeting that i needed to attend

i could not shake my bad mood so instead of making everyone suffer, i decided to just stay home if i was going to pout. what is my deal?
i am one big contradiction. today i was all the bad things.

these are the days when i am most aware of my need for Jesus.
i cant shake it on my own. i need my savior.

good thing my personality also needs something bigger than myself ...

"They are the type which is most conscious of anxiety—"anxious that they are anxious"—unlike other personality types who are either unaware of their anxiety or who unconsciously convert it into other symptoms."

"At the root of their anxiety is a continual feeling of being unsupported. Most fundamentally, Sixes doubt that they can support themselves. They do not trust their ability to know what to do, especially when their decisions effect their security. At the very least, they tend to second-guess themselves, making a decision and then fearing that they made the wrong choice. Because they feel unsure of themselves, Sixes look outside themselves for something to support and reassure them."

"Because “belief” (trust, faith, convictions, positions) is difficult for Sixes to achieve, and because it is so important to their sense of stability, once they establish a trustworthy belief, they do not easily question it, nor do they want others to do so. The same is true for individuals in a Six’s life: once Sixes feel they can trust someone, they go to great lengths to maintain connections with the person who acts as a sounding board, a mentor, or a regulator for the Six’s emotional reactions and behavior. They therefore do everything in their power to keep their affiliations going. (“If I don’t trust myself, then I have to find something in this world I can trust.”)"

"...they think—and worry—a lot! They also tend to fear making important decisions, although at the same time, they resist having anyone else make decisions for them. They want to avoid being controlled, but are also afraid of taking responsibility in a way that might put them “in the line of fire.”

"If Sixes feel that they have sufficient back up, they can move forward with some degree of confidence. But if that crumbles, they become anxious and self-doubting, reawakening their Basic Fear. (“I’m on my own! What am I going to do now?”)"

note to self: GET OVER YOURSELF.

penned again.

2009-05-10T17:25:00.000-07:00

i will refuse to give into to pressure for this to be a good blog post.

the way i will do that is by posting a random assortment of things.

1. ray la is playing in the background. ray always takes me back to fall.

Be here now. . .

2. i just devoured the

batter bowl to the magnolia cupcakes hayes is

making.

(see attached pic)

3. i went on a walk before i devoured this batter bowl. i

am so counteractive.

4. all i can seem to think about these days is my 13auburnfriends reunion in a few weekends and for this i am sooo excited.

5. sometimes i feel like i cant live life without something to look forward to.

thats an extremely dramatic statement. dont judge, you know what i mean.

6. my mom is engaged.

7. my dad just had hand surgery and my brother sent

me pictures ... we are gross like that ...

8. my brother is almost done with his freshman year of college. i remember when he could barely talk. what in the world?

9. when i called my grandmother to tell her happy mothers day she said, first thing, "well, i hope i can say that to you sometime in the near future."

no comment.

10. i am dying to go so many

places right now. namely: NYC, the ranch, horse riding, the lake, the beach, Charleston, and Austin.

11. im pretty sure that nashville has seen more rain in the last month than seattle has in a whole year.

12. i have learned this year that it does not matter what you do, as much as it matters who you do it with.

13. i have no sense of style and i hate shopping for myself, but i like shopping for boys. why?! ugh.

14. i want an african child right now. (not really right now, but i do)

15. i miss my childhood neighborhood.

16. i get to play a show this weekend with some amazing musicians in SC and i could not be more excited ...

17. i miss college/road trips.

18. i dvr'd about 4 shows this season that i did not watch one episode of.

19. i want to go rollerblading with my mom, at the beach, right now.

20. i was told today that i have a bob ... i hate the word bob when used in reference to hair.

21. i went to visit my grandmother this week that has a brain tumor. she still offered me sweet tea. that tea never tasted so good.

22. i have recently revisited my high school diet coke addiction ...

23. matt dean convinced me years ago that this (my diet coke addiction) is why i suffer from chronic memory loss (short and long term) awesome.

24. i will be 24 in july. oh geez.

penned my soul

2008-11-12T11:26:00.001-08:00

who? bebo. always.
here are the latest two that speak right where i am these days ...

tell me now, when does this start feeling
like I understand everything I’m dealing with
first I was young, now it’s all just happening
and what about the way I said that
made you turn around and shake your head
like I don’t even know what I’m asking for

this could be all about just letting go
this could be all about just holding on

I can’t get my feet off of the ground
I wanna run but I don’t know how
can you reach down here and pull me out, can you pull me out, yeah
I wanna scream but there’s no sound
I wanna fly to you somehow
can you reach me here and pull me out, can you pull me out

remember when I was young and hungry,
I could take it in, without much money,
I had nothing at all but dreams and time to kill
and now I feel like I’m treading water
and I’m hardly real - I’m just trying harder
to make my way on the earth by standing still

this could be all about just letting go
this could be all about just holding on

I can’t get my feel off of the ground
I wanna run but I don’t know how
Can you reach down here and pull me out, can you pull me out, yeah
I wanna scream but there’s no sound
I wanna fly to you somehow
Can you reach down here and pull me out, can you pull me out

not a moment too soon You will be my rescue
but tell me how long will it take?

I can’t get my feet off of the ground
I wanna run but I don’t know how
can you reach down here and pull me out, can you pull me out
I can’t get my feet off of the ground
I wanna run but I don’t know how
Can you reach down here and pull me out, can you pull me out, yeah
I wanna scream but there’s no sound
I wanna fly to you somehow
can you reach me here and pull me out – can you pull me out
can you pull me out? can you reach down and pull me out?

and the next one...

I want to run, it's my nature to run
And I want to fight, it's my nature to fight
And I want to live, but you tell me to die
I have resolved that I'm much better off
In your hands than mine

I'm begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to take my life from me
I want a crumb, but you are a feast
I want a song, but you are a symphony
I want a star, but your a galaxy

And I have resolved that I'm much better off
In what you have for me
I'm begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to take my life from me
So tell me you won't let go
Tell me you won't let go
Cause you are the only hope for me
Take my life from me, It's the only hope for me
Take my life from me, It's the only hope for me
And I'll never want for more
I'll never want for more

I'm begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to hold on tight
Begging you to take my life from me
So tell me you won't let go
Tell me you won't let go
Cause your the only hope for me
You're the only hope for me
Yeah, your the only hope for me

a word from the wise.

2008-11-12T11:02:00.000-08:00

today is just one of those days where things are off.
i woke up feeling like the Lord was a million miles away.

in a moment of desperation, i called my grandmother.
shocked to discover that my complaints and trivial, ridiculous woes
would be a 'blessing' to her and my sweet grandad, who somehow
found it necessary to stay on the phone the whole time.

there is something that makes you feel really special when 2 people
are on the other end of the same phone line. or, at least it made me
feel special today. but, its just one of those days.

i called because my grandmother is known for her prayers and the results
she gets. when she prays, things happen. i had that lump in my throat and
i just knew that as soon as she started praying for me, i would come undone.
that's when grandad joined in on the call ... so instead of praying for me then
and there, she promised she would later and spoke these words in response to
my current situation and fears ...

"you know erin, its like that old quote,

night is always darkest as just before dawn."

wow. so true. thanks g'mom.

then i read that familiar verse:
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

BUT, the verse before?

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness
(my Bible says at the bottom "OR: and feed on faithfulness OR: and find safe pasture")

I am comforted today by the reminder that my duty today is not to figure out my future,
but simply to trust and delight in Him. Easier said than done, for sure.
I believe Lord, help my unbelief.

funny, these days.

2008-11-12T09:48:00.000-08:00

i keep getting blessed.
last week i attended the funeral of one of the
most magnificent women you could ever know.
Sweet Hopkins.

i have decided i hate the word funeral.
that is not what it was ... it was a celebration.
a celebration of a life lived well, lived loudly to the glory of God.

when talking with a friend on the phone last week before we headed
to dallas, we talked about how it was like we were going to her party,
except that she would not be there in the way we anticipated.
but she was there, in full force. the stories and memories told were amazing.
inspiring, courageous, and set apart was this saint. i have never seen a church
so packed in all my life. she made a difference, a huge one, in the kingdom.
and the Lord is not done using her... the way He used her here will not allow her
influence to diminish now that she is with Him.

She had her priorities right. She 'got it.'
I am challenged by who she was.
I am challenged by her family in this time.
I am reminded of the brevity of life.

Teach us, Oh Lord, to number our days, that we may gain a heart of WISDOM.

last week was rich, and full, and in the midst of death, it was so very very full of life.
i want to live a life that leaves laughter and joy behind when i go, i want to impact people
the way that Sweet did. I want to know Him like she did. I will forever be blessed by her,
by knowing her, and watching her ... I am thankful that I know more of the Lord because of her.

Sweet is missed, she always will be, but she made a difference that will never, ever fade.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called sons of God."

knowing.

2008-10-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

this has potential to be the most cheesy post i have ever written, so im a little scared.

but im going for it. since i have already established my intense love for nashville and the

fall, specifically ... let me lay out some things that i miss since being here...

friends. hugs. good hugs. deep conversations. being known. knowing others.

laughing. gut wrenching laughter. gay street. front porch swing. gospel choir.

encounter. community. honesty. blunt, freeing honesty. shorts and t shirts. ha.

familiar faces. singing. i really miss singing. talks in the kitchen. pictures. walking

anywhere i want to go. asking questions. answering questions. did i mention hugs?

maybe i am suffering from failure to thrive ...

okay, i could go on, but i cant take the cheese so i have to stop.

im listening to brooke fraser this morning, and every song hits me right where i am.

i love how the Lord always gets me with music, always.

sorry this is so scattered. im a little all over the place this morning.

on another note, its a perfectly dreary and rainy day here in nashville.

Excitement

2008-09-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

well, i am a happy camper!

Today I get to see all of my best friends from college,

coming from near and far:

Dallas, DC, NYC, Miami, Nashville, Birmingham, Huntsville,

Auburn ...

Destination? HOTLANTA!

We are all reuniting for Jessica's wedding and it is going to be a blast.

I can't wait to see these crazies and the beautiful bride, she will be stunning.

Okay, thats all ... time to hit the road !!! WAHOOO!

not your buddy

2008-09-23T21:40:00.000-07:00

i am not quite sure what to write right now. I am way tired.

however, if i don't take this time to type this, then i never will, so i must while i am thinking about it. this is an article that a very dear friend of mine sent me and a few others last week.

i thought it was definitely interesting and worth sharing ... it touches on some big issues among

the whole dating vs. friends thing in today's current christian culture, if you will.

http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001845.cfm

i would love to know your thoughts, so please share.

certified organic

2008-09-17T11:38:00.001-07:00

i know. im a big dork.

its okay. i like organic food and computers.

i accept it. i relish in my state.

i am not a die hard organic fan, mostly because i cant afford it.

but i do always buy organic dairy and poultry (sorry, i like it better than meat).

today i had organic peanut butter on a rice cake.

and i noticed something:

this organic peanut butter apparently lacks the ingredient

that normal peanut butter has in it to keep it from sticking to your mouth/teeth.

i mean, i could hardly swallow this stuff. took a huge glass of milk to get it down.

crazy.

oh, and speaking of milk.

i heard this week that horizon milk is not really organic,

so its better to get stoneyfield farm's ... they say.

thats all i got.

New Music Tuesdays.

2008-09-16T13:01:00.000-07:00

I live for new music tuesdays.

Well, not really.

I don't have money anymore.

Not that I ever did.

But now? Now I really don't.

However, Today is a peculiar new music tuesday.

Why? Because:

1. Bebo Norman released his new album with a song called Britney,

and yes, it is about my fellow head shaving friend (?) ... Miss Spears.

"Britney is a song about what our culture says and does to young women

these days," explains Norman. "It's about the lies we tell them about fame and money and what's beautiful and what will give them lie. It's an apology for those lies. But more than that, it's an invitation to the truth about a God who is bigger than the pain this world so often leaves them in."

I was going to put a link to the video here, but apparently I am dumb and my computer won't let me and I don't know how to make it let me.

2. Kristy Lee C(r)ook released her album today with a most fitting first track title of:

15 minutes of Shame. I won't describe the album cover, there are no words, just check it

out here...

3. Finally, Leona Naess released her newest album today. I am so excited. For those of you who do not know her, she is an amazing singer-songwriter based in London and NY ... often compared to Feist (who is brilliant). Anyways, you should check out her new album. She is on tour with Ray La this fall. It does not get much better than that, folks.

4. Death Cab released their live from las vegas EP ... you should ALWAYS check out death cab. DUH.

5. I must not forget. This past weekend was an amazing time in Nashville for the NEXT BIG NASHVILLE music festival. I had an amazing time catching some amazing shows with friends, and I do mean amazing. If you do not know about Katie Herzig yet, then you are missing out on life. Her new album, the Apple Tree, its a must ... do not even listen to a 30 second clip, just freakin buy it. You will n

ot regret it.

awaiting the changing colors of leaves among other many things

2008-09-06T14:20:00.000-07:00

i am not writing much in this blog. i do not have much to say.
however, a picture is worth a thousand words, so i am including many to tell you/show you things i am looking forward to.

as much as i am addicted to summer, i absolutely love fall. it is perhaps the most nostalgic, most inspiring, and coziest of all seasons. it is beautiful and mysterious.

i cannot wait for cool days in the park, curled up in blankets with a pumpkin spice latte and a good book. to be surrounded by a myriad of colors. i cannot wait.

fall of 2006 was when i fell in love with nashville. it is absolutely gorgeous here in autumn, and i am so excited about living here for it this time and not just driving back and forth for tease visits like years past.

here are some pictures to show you why i love it.

finally a college graduate (well, i hope) ...

2008-08-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

i mean, i did miss the deadline to order my cap and gown.
i know, big shocker.
it definitely made my mom happy.

so of course, watch as it will beautifully unfold.
i will get there, family in tow, for perhaps the first time ever,
and they will turn me away because they dont have any "extras."

tisk. tisk.
please, Lord, let me FINALLY graduate.
i cannot be a 6th year senior. i may die.

anyways ... i have been interning, as many of you know, with and inner city, non-profit organization here in Nashville called Youth Encouragement Services. I just finished my
massive senior paper/project, so I am including the video that did as a part of that so you
can understand more of my experience. And if you dont care, thats fine, i may never know.

{it wouldnt post. biscuet, help. awe geez. im not as tech savvy as i thought...}

Debbie Downer Deputy

2008-07-16T15:38:00.000-07:00

well, this may be an interesting post because, ill be honest, im still a bit heated ...

my ride home today was intended to be great. i just got a copy of a recent project i

worked on and put it in to listen to for the first time since it has been mastered. i planned

on making a phone call or two on the way home and suddenly i look up in shock.

previously, my boss suggested i take a different road home to beat some traffic and save some

time, so today was my first attempt. i was cruising along, minding my business, excited about getting home more 'quickly' when i look up to see a freakin cop standing in the middle of my lane. (what an idiot! i am thinking) ... so i slow down and he motions me to pull over. of course im dumb and thinking they are blocking off the road or doing a random license and registration check. however, i was dead wrong.

he comes up to my passenger window and it went something like this:

officer: it sure would have been a lot less hard to slow down and avoid hitting me if you werent going 22mph over the speed limit.

me: i am so sorry, sir. i am new to the city and my boss told me to take this shortcut home today, this is the first time i have ever driven this road and it looks like interstate to me, i didnt see a speed limit sign.

officer: give me your license, where are you from?

me: (fumbling for it and realizing im sure lucky that i had it in the car after switching it to another bag to take on the boat with me yesterday) alabama.

officer: ha, well im pretty sure they have speed limit signs there!!

me: yes sir, they do.

officer: i can tell. ill be right back. whats your new address?

i hand him my license and then tell him my address and he leaves me waiting for far too many moments and im trying to figure out what is going on, and thinking about the record he is about to see laid out in front of him. moments later he returns, in his fatal attempts to be nice - or civil or something...

officer: when did you shave all your hair off?

me: the beginning of the summer

(this is when i wanted to say something very smart and witty to him, and honestly, these are the times when i wish i didnt know Jesus (i hope you understand how i mean that) because i could get away with alot more in that moment, but i held my tongue, whew.)

officer:me too. nice, int'it? 'lot cooler.

me:yeeaaaahhh.

officer:well, if you sign the back of this and send it in you can take a driving course online to wipe any extra points off your record.

me: so, you are giving me a ticket?

officer: ha, well yeah!

me: seriously?! how much is it going to be?

officer: a WHOLE LOTTA MONEY!

(jerk, what a total jerk)

me: sir, is there really no way i can talk you out of this? i had a real bad ticket recently and i swear i learned my lesson, i dont ever speed anymore, i just really have never been on this road before and did not know that it was 45mph! (the tears begin to form, out of all the many tickets i have gotten in my lifetime i have never even been able to muster up tears, no matter how hard i tried.)

officer: well, you will know next time. you are getting that ticket, i already filled it out, and you may wanna slow down - we are here clockin' about 3-4 days a week!

(meanwhile im thinking ill never take this route again)

so ... moral of the story is ... you win some, and you loose some. i seem to be on a bad loosing streak. and i made up for lost tears in the 15 minutes following. you would have thought i was on jerry springer. oh, and i also seem to be pretty dang good at acquiring a criminal record without ever even trying. good grief. but hey - it runs in the family.

my thoughts penned for me.

2008-07-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

well, i was already thinking about blogging today. i decided i was going to after i got off the phone with my friend who perfectly articulated part of the stage that i am in right now. i am not sure that i remember well enough what she said - but it was perfect, if i could have put words to my emotions, i would have said what she did.

i was telling her how it is hard because i was supposed to go to a friends for dinner tonight but had to pass up the invite in order to stay at home and do laundry and catch up on emails, start a paper, and do things that i cant do during the day since i am working - but are required for days to go by smoothly.

she said, "its funny because when you first got there you were just getting in the swing of things so you wanted to be by yourself and have some downtime to get settled. then you wanted to be hanging out with people all the time so you wouldnt be lonely, but somehow even that makes you so busy that you are almost more tired, and because you dont know them very well, you are STILL lonely." sooooo true. i am not very good at this post college making friends thing - and then when you do find people you like and connect with you dont want to appear like an overexerted freak - and i often do, so i guess im trying to play it cool - but i have never been good at that. oh well. who cares.

my next subject was on my whole career dilemma, but relevant summed it up for me quite nicely today, so i will just put the link right here:

http://relevantmagazine.com/life_article.php?id=7578

(biscuet, why cant i ever get blogger to let me paste a link?!)

luckily, i have a great friend here who called me today to see if i would be up for going to the lake tomorrow after work and i cant think of a better thing to do to wind down the day. so, im headed to pack my swimsuit, then im going to bed, then work, then the lake ... i really do love this place.

things as of late ...

2008-07-11T20:43:00.000-07:00

what is about to follow are issues in my life, recent and future thoughts, as well as plans ...

in no particular order ... just go with it.

full time job vs. part time job vs. pursuing music

baby lotion

friendships

my brothers birthday

papers for my internship

the dread of needing to purchase new jeans and perfume

moving to bangkok to work with sex trade

music

getting ready to go on tour

missing austin

loving nashville

adapting to moms new apartment

david platts message series on the gospel and ... (parents, singleness, marriage, homosexuality, family, divorce, etc.)

finding a pregnancy test in the girl bathroom at work

tough love vs. grace when disciplining

married life

singleness

amazing shows

gas prices

orphans

fatigue

work ethic

making new friends

Romans relevance to Life

how much Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift sucks

disciple making

a kiss could ruin everything

africa

clare burson

bon iver

did i say new friends?

the job market

the future

emily's cd on repeat

trusting

good wine

sushi

car washing

fresh laundry

real, quality coffee

deep conversation

hugs

calling someone by their name

babies

weddings

music career

passion

surrender

ill end on that .... surrender.

give yourself away.

2008-04-10T12:57:00.000-07:00

its catching on:

my co-worker who got friends and family to raise $300 for the austistic children we work with.

the girls i went to visit today who are painting a mural in downtown auburn to involve the whole city in a project together, combining all ages.

the people who volunteer at the hospice that i visited last week.

my friend who is spending the next 3 years in china.

the friend who told me today that she and her fiance want to go to service and mission work in

other countries for their honeymoon instead of getting gifts for their home because she says, "i dont need anything, not one more thing."

my friend who seeks out the homeless because she loves them so much.

my roommate who wants to spend her vacation doing aids outreach.

could anything else be more contagious ? im continually convinced that we come more alive

when we live for others lives instead of our own. when we exist for their well being. when we are committed to the hurting, the poor, the dying the sick. when we give away what we have because we dont need it and someone else does. when we give up our plans in order to make anothers dreams possible.

no wonder Jesus gave his life for us. that, He says, is how we will gain it.

.:Matt. 16:25-26:.

lyrics from one of my favorite songs right now say :

If you choose to love,

To know that the call

Is to give all you are

To give love away...

Rise, Rise, people of love rise

People of love rise,

Give yourself away.

This picture is from a friend who did this last week.

He went in to eat at the restaurant where one of my roommates was working,

and he left this on the table with a twenty dollar bill. He will probably kill

me when he finds out i put this on here, but i had to because its a perfect example of what this

post is all about.

i hope this encourages you to look for ways that you can bless others,

it doesn't have to be big, a little goes a long way, especially if it is motivated by love.

more on love.

2008-04-10T12:10:00.000-07:00

well. you would think that i would be done with this subject, but im not.

yesterday was one of my best friends birthdays, and what did her boyfriend do ?

he drove three+ hours from his college campus to visit her at work. there is nothing more

comforting than knowing your friends are loved and cherished and treated right.

there are some boys im around that raise my standards, and some that lower them.

im thankful for the ones that raise my standards, and i pray that the ones that lower them

will know what it is to know what it is to love a woman as Christ loves the church, and treat

her as such. He cherishes us, and serves us, all because of love, and i love nothing more than

to see a guy try to accurately portray that: even though we are fallen. He has redeemed us.

He is who gives us the ability to love outside of ourselves. I can only hope and pray that more each day am i loving and living outside of myself.

strength to face the day.

2008-03-27T12:43:00.000-07:00

hosanna. (paulbaloche)

{this is the song i mentioned earlier. it pumps me up these days.

i cant listen to it without going insane, it just stirs the hope in me. for sure}

Praise is rising, eyes are turning to You, we turn to You
Hope is stirring, hearts are yearning for You, we long for You
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Presence all our fears are washed away, washed away

Hosanna, hosanna
You are the God Who saves us, worthy of all our praises
Hosanna, hosanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here, Lord Jesus

Hear the sound of hearts returning to You, we turn to You
In Your Kingdom broken lives are made new, You make us new
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Presence all our fears are washed away, washed away

Hosanna, hosanna
You are the God Who saves us, worthy of all our praises
Hosanna, hosanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here, Lord Jesus

'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Presence all our fears are washed away
'Cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
In Your Presence all our fears are washed away, washed away

Hosanna, hosanna
You are the God Who saves us, worthy of all our praises
Hosanna, hosanna
Come have Your way among us
We welcome You here, Lord Jesus

hope is stirring.

2008-03-27T09:03:00.000-07:00

if you have been keeping up with any of my posts lately, you know that im fickle these days.
fickle with trusting His sovereignty, with believing him. i think i relate to Him all to often
like i do friend's or family that have failed me. He's never failed me yet. however, i just cant seem to
figure out why i treat Him like He has. i am thankful that He knows that i am made of dust, and that
He must constantly remind me of His goodness. even in the midst of loneliness, fear, adversity, failure,
joy, strife, victory, and success. He is always with me.

i have taken great comfort in His sovereignty in these last few hours.
i looked up what wikipedia has to say about sovereignty. here it is:
Sovereignty is the exclusive right to have complete control over an area of governance, people, or oneself.
A sovereign is the supreme lawmaking authority, subject to no other.
( i am reminded that i am not good enough to mess up his plan, or bad enough for that matter )
what any man, whoever he may be, orders on his own, is not a law. there is no law without a sovereign.

how good it is to rest in that. and how often, how many moments of the day to i fret over my feelings
of failure, or floundering.

one of my favorite verses in all of the Bible is Lamentations 3:21.
jeremiah had it much worse than i have ever had, but he still had hope,
and even after the destruction of Jerusalem, the temple of God, and so many lives,
he still spoke of the Lord's love and compassion.
i love Lam. 3:21 because it reminds me, when i am plagued with so little faith, to recall the roads i have walked,
and where He has taken me from strength to strength in the past, because HE is faithful.
Jeremiah says, "But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:"
(please go read the WHOLE chapter: http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=Lamentations+3)
he recalls the Lord's faithfulness in the past and is reminded of his mercy, love and compassion.
what great comfort there is in knowing that he cares, and that HE cares enough to have complete control,
so much control that i and no one else can do anything to change HIS plan for me, for you.
THAT IS WONDERFUL.

the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.
there is a song that i have had on repeat today that i will post later.
its amazing.

some thoughts from others on hope . . .

If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea. -Antoine De Saint

The inability to open up to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams. - Elizabeth Gilbert

Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. - Lin Yutang

To eat bread without hope is still slowly to starve to death. - Pearl Buck

None who have always been free can understand the terrible fascinating power of the hope of freedom to those who are not free. - Pearl Buck

The natural flights of the human mind are not from pleasure to pleasure but from hope to hope. - Samuel Johnson

Is not your fear of God your confidence, and the integrity of your ways your hope? - Job 4:6

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. - Ps. 62:5

But I WILL HOPE CONTINUALLY and will praise you yet more and more. - Ps. 71:14

and this ...

but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love. -Ps. 147:11

HOPE: To wish for something with the expectation of the wish being fulfilled. Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope implies a certain amount of despair, wanting, wishing, suffering or perseverance — i.e., believing that a better or positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary.

We hold within us the reason, the answer, THE one who IS HOPE !

into the wild.

2008-03-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

you need to see this film ...

love changes everything.

2008-03-25T20:18:00.000-07:00

so, i have been noticing lately that something is going on around me.
im in a stage of life where i am processing alot, trying to figure out alot,
and digest many things. i remember reading my friend biscuet's blog the other
day and he was talking about being in a place in life where he rarely has answers
for anything and i totally identified. im there too. but, in all of my oblivion lately, i have been bombarded with one thing for sure.
...love. but not just love.

this.
that love changes everything.

i see it. i hear it. it surrounds me on every side.
i would be lying if i did not say that much of this comes from the
fact that im in that beloved stage of life where literally all of my
closest and best friends are either engaged, married, or dating someone
pretty seriously. but, most of them are married or engaged.
so, it effects me. i dont know that im so much dying to have someone
right now, as i am just wishing i had someone to take with me to spend time with
all my couple friends, but for now im just fine being the third or fifth wheel.

however: i just keep seeing how love changes people. changes everything.

i have watched a friend who swore she would never get married right out of collegehead straight down that path.
i have watched my friend who HATES planning, plan for the sake of love, to make room for love to flourish and grow.
i have seen a friend who hates talking on the phone spend countless hours in conversation
...miss independent talk to her man, text, or gchat him every chance she gets.
...i have seen thoughtless guys turn into magnificent creators, all for love.
...i have seen career woman abandon her career dreams to follow his.
...the one who does not like to run, will run twice a day if it means that she can run with him.
... he will eat thai food, even if he is allergic, if that is what she wants ...

you get my drift. you probably got it a long time ago. i see the sacrifices, and maybe thats why this road is not cut out for me yet, im still way too selfish, and im just not there yet. but im learning, and as my friend Landon Pigg says,

"Fairy tales can come true
It could happen to you
You're young at heart
For it's hard, you will find
To be narrow of mind
If you're young at heart
You can go to extremes with impossible schemes
You can laugh while your dreams fall apart at the seams
And life gets more exciting with each passing day
And love is either in your heart or it's on its way ... "
but its worth every treasure on earth to be young at heart.

i just know that i want love to change me. mix me up, and rearrange me.
i want to look more soft when i look at the one i love.
i want to die to any selfish desire for the sake of the one i love.
i want to surrender my plans and dreams for the pursuit of the dreams of my beloved. i want to say in this line that i believe that it will happen.
but i doubt. a lot.

[my friend cara jane and i are reading this book right now, and i must steal part of her inclusion because it just makes the point here. thanks ceej]

we are currently reading a book called the shack, by william p. young. in chapter 8, God is explaining to the main character, mackenzie, why humans have such a hard time trusting that reality is bigger than the small, incomplete picture that we see:

"The real underlying flaw in your life, Mackenzie, is that you don't think that I am good. If you knew I was good and that everything--the means, the ends, and all the processes of individual lives--is all covered by my goodness, then while you might not always understand what I am doing, you would trust me. But you don't...Mackenzie, you cannot produce trust just like you cannot 'do' humility. It either is or is not. Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved. Because you do not know that I love you, you cannot trust me."

i do know the greatest love that truly has changed everything.
but it seems that i have a long way to go, and it still has an endless amount to change in me.

HIS LOVE is changing everything, even me.

stories.

2008-03-14T18:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I have had a pretty interesting week and a half. Everything from getting arrested and going to jail, to having internship interviews, recording in Nashville, starting a job in Auburn ... and now I am listening to Band of Horses and chillin.

WELCOME: SB2K8.

I have pondered many things in these recent weeks, and one thing keeps recurring.

Redemption. I have had conversations about death, healing, homosexuality, divorce, addiction,

freedom, marriage, bondage, justice, grief, love, pain, and victory. So, as you can imagine, my mind has been on overload, and thinking ninety to nothing.

If you know me well at all (or maybe even not so well) you know that I am big on vulnerability.

At times, I myself am vulnerable to a fault. I have my trust issues, for sure, but most of the time I am trusting to a fault. However, I find myself so often wishing that others were more vulnerable. I know much of this is because I find that I just love people and have a genuine care and concern for them, but I believe someone in this last week articulated what echos in my heart on this issue. So I will share it with you.

She said:

"I find that all too often I

exalt the good,

diminish the bad,

and hide the ugly ...

and that is not fair to the Lord because it lowers the power of His redemption."

WOW. That hit me when she said that, because thats just it. No matter what it is, whether an issue I listed above, or another, there is beauty in telling, and there is life in sharing, and redemption in trusting.

Be wise with who, how, and when you tell.

But let me challenge you to just share it.

Branch out, be brave, and share the power of His redemption.

living.

2008-02-28T12:26:00.000-08:00

So, I was talking to my best friend the other day about the random things in life, and

we got lost in bouncing thoughts and ideas off one another as usual. She was telling me

about what the Lord has shown her recently about community. I learned from her in that

conversation and in the few days that followed I experienced what she was talking about,

and I was amazed at the experience that I had with new eyes.

She was telling me about how the Lord has really shown her what her area of ministry is now.

As a mother, you have a whole new realm of influence. Quickly, overnight almost, your workplace becomes your kitchen, your desk transforms into a rocking chair, emails and phone calls are now replaced with hours of feeding, and your 'co-workers' become neighbors. I listened as she told me how she desires to live in a place where everything that is necessary for daily life is in walking distance: The church, the school, the market, a restaurant, and a coffee shop.

Suddenly, while listening to her, i found myself aching for this kind of simplicity. How wonderful life would be if we were surrounded by, and investing in the same people, and how would that transform the way i view the gospel and share it ? You must understand that what I'm going for here is not a bubble. I mean, rather, living intentional life among the people that we must encounter: The barista, waitress, check out lady at the grocery, and the school teacher. To be able to build relationships with those people, to have continuity and consistency, and to love them to Jesus, and see them experience His love.

After this conversation I appreciated even Auburn in a new way, I want to go to the same places, on a regular basis, I want to walk there, and i want to know the people on the streets ... on the walk there and back.

I just realized how much Jesus walked (no pun intended Kanye),

with the same,

the few,

... among the masses.

starting anew.

2008-02-22T15:27:00.000-08:00

Hello my dear friends.

This is just a blog to let you all know that i am going to start blogging again (heaven forbid), so, if you want to start checking it, here is my address. Hope you are all doing swell.